Today was the day. Dan and Dan were about to embark on a fabulous, and totally heterosexual journey to space.

NASA wanted to send a celebrity and a completely random civilian to space. So they walked to the space station, because they lived in Texas. Once they entered the shuttle, they put on their space suits. They weren’t like astronaut suits, but actual tuxedos, with a fashionable helmet. The shuttle took off and they landed on the moon 2 minutes later. It was a very fast shuttle.

They fabulously stepped off onto the moon. Then all of a sudden, they were blinded by neon blue and pink surrounding them. They shut their eyes and when they opened them, they thought it was a dream.

Dan and Dan were in the middle of a fighting arena. And not just any arena……..

THE NARWHAL ARENA!

The narwhal secretary, or secretar-whal, who was an actual narwhal, but a female narwhal in high heels (narwhal gender stereotypes and all that). She stabbed Dan and Dan with her tusk. The men thought they were done for, but no. The magical tusk turned our beloved heroes into narwhals themselves. Dan Radcliffe, a beautiful blue, and Musch Musch, a perfect pink. They looked down and they could see their hearts beating. They were so excited.

The secretar-whal told them the rules: Stab the other’s narwhal’s heart with your tusk. Suddenly, the secretar-whal disappeared and epic music started to play.

Dan and Dan heard a crowd cheer from nowhere. Radcliffe started jerking from side to side and was flying up and down. Musch, also, began to slide and flip and flop.

They flew around the arena on the moon and they were flying closer and closer to one another. Then…

everything slowed down. Dan and Dan looked into each others eyes and Rad whispered, “I can’t control it.” Musch replied, “I know.”

Rad’s tusk suddenly pierced the heart of Musch. Sparks of pink flew from his chest and Musch fell to the ground, not moving. Rad transformed suddenly into himself and ran up to the beached narwhal of Musch. Rad held the giant, squishy head of Musch and yelled, “NO! NO, MUSCH MUSCH, NOT LIKE THIS!” he looked up into the great void of space and shrieked, “NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!”

Talking was heard from the great void, and Rad listened….

“YES! I totally killed your narwhal,” Said Natalka

“Oh my gosh, how did I miss that!” Chad replied in anger.

“Haha another round?”

“No, we should probably get to work on Chachang.”

“Ugh fine. Well you’ll see Dan next period right?”

“No actually, he isn’t here today. I wonder where he is.”

Chad and Natalka never saw musch musch again….